


love is not over (?)

by flaismin



Series: sad markhyuck [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, im sorry, this was going to be fluff but it's mild (?) angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 13:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19063339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaismin/pseuds/flaismin
Summary: i wanted to write something cute..





	love is not over (?)

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write something cute..

He doesn't need me anymore, Mark thought as he looked at his ex boyfriend walking hand in hand with his new boyfriend.

It felt weird, to see Donghyuck happily holding hands with someone other than Mark and for a second, he didn't know what to do so he stood in the middle of the campus and watched them going into the library with a big smile on their faces.

Mark had seen this coming, they had broken up four months ago, and it was a messy break up, so of course, Donghyuck had moved on, found someone new and now he was happy.

Mark didn't know why he felt like this. Last three months of their relationship was toxic, both of them were giving the hell to the other, there wasn't love, there wasn't respect, it was almost like they hated each other, almost like they didn't want to see each other anymore. It was a mutual decision to break up after a very big fight and they both felt relief after breaking up even though Mark cried secretly under his sheets every night for a couple of weeks. A month after their break up, he concluded that it was a good decision since they weren't hurting each other anymore. Although he hurted Mark's feelings and pride a little bit, the younger didn't show any sign of sadness.

So why did Mark had this heavy feeling on his heart and stomach as he watched Donghyuck and some guy walking to the library holding hands? Why Mark's own hands suddenly felt so empty and cold? Why he was so goddamn angry?

Because I am used to seeing Donghyuck with myself, he thought as he took deep breaths and calmed himself. Now it feels awkward to see him with someone else. That's why.

Mark knew that their relationship was over and he knew that he didn't need Donghyuck in his life to fill the emptiness in his heart or to make himself happy. He also understood that Donghyuck didn't need him in his own life to be happy.

He was going to get used to the feeling of not having Donghyuck's hand in his own and he was going to get used to seeing Donghyuck with other people.

It was normal.

 

 

 

 

Okay, but why does Mark feel anger filling up his stomach three weeks later, when he sees Donghyuck getting really intimate with one of the girls from his department, Yerim? Why does he wants to go next to them, pull his ex-boyfriend up and leave the party?

He knows that he isn't jealous as Jaemin says with a grin on his face. He isn't jealous of his own ex-boyfriend, which he broke up almost five months ago with a mutual decision. He was happy that they broke up. Why would he be jealous? He didn't want to get back to Donghyuck.

It is because of the alcohol, he thinks and suddenly everything makes sense. He wouldn't feel the same way if he was sober enough. It was alcohol that made him feel this was. He wanted to go and pull Donghyuck, kiss him in front of everyone because of alcohol. There wasn't any other reason.

Alcohol.

 

 

 

  
For the next two weeks Mark sees Donghyuck with different people. He is always with someone else. Just holding hands in the middle of the campus, having lunch dates, being extra intimate as he studies with them in the library and it devastates Mark. He feels like an idiot and selfish since they broke up because neither of them were happy and now that Donghyuck was finally happy, when he finally let him go, he was mad.

"You really need to get your shit together, dude." Jaehyun said as he put his lunch on the table and sat down next to Mark. Mark was eyeing Donghyuck who was happily eating his lunch with Chaeyoung, a girl from Donghyuck's drama club. He knew that he was not in the position to be jealous but he knew that Chaeyoung liked Donghyuck even when they were together.

"What?" Mark asked back, his eyes couldn't leave Donghyuck's table. 

"It's obvious that Donghyuck got over you which is normal by the way, and that's what you should do too but you are stalking him all the time. It's like you are obsessed with him."

"What? I'm not obsessed with him!" Mark says as he takes a huge bite from his sandwich.

"Mark."

Mark takes his stuff and leaves the table. He is not in the mood to talk about this with Jaehyun because he knows that he is right.

He couldn't get over Donghyuck.

 

 

 

Yeah, he couldn't get over Donghyuck. It's a fact. Mark has accepted this long ago and he doesn't know what to do about it. He doesn't want to bother Donghyuck and his happiness. He wants to solve everything on his own just like how Donghyuck did.

Maybe he just needs a proper goodbye. He needs a proper end to the relationship so that he can finish it in his head too.

They broke up after a nasty fight and the last thing he said to Donghyuck was literally, "I hate you, too. Let's just break up. It's better for both of us." The last thing Donghyuck said to him was similar too. "Great! I'll be happy from now on!" It was a night full of angry screams towards each other and words that they both didn't mean.

He didn't want to leave everything like that. He didn't want to remember their relationship like that.

 

  
Me  
Hey, I just found a couple of your stuff at mine.   
Can you come and pick them up when you are available?

  
I Love Donghyuck-ie  
Ok.   
Thank you for telling me.  
Is it okay if I get them tomorrow?  
Like 6 pm or smth

  
Me  
Yeah  
It's cool.

  
I Love Donghyuck-ie  
Ok  
See ya

 

Mark looked at his phone for a good couple of minutes after he decided that he should change Donghyuck's name in his phone. He put "Lee Donghyuck" instead of "I Love Donghyuck-ie" and looking at his phone felt weird and it hit him.

They had broken up.

Tomorrow Donghyuck was going to come to his house, probably for the last time. He was going to pick up his six hoodies that he had left over their six years of friendship and three years of dating, the big teddy bear that he had left at Mark's because "I love him so much but I don't have space at my dorm." His Michael Jackson posters and albums that he left at his because "Your room needs a little bit more of me."

He had to put down their pictures from the walls and fridge some time.

God.

He had to stop wearing their couple necklace that promised never stop wearing when they had bought four years ago, they weren't even dating then, and Mark wasn't sure if he was ready to do it all.

He lied down on his couch as his tears washed over his face.

Him and Donghyuck had broken up.

They were over.

He didn't get up from the couch for the night.

 

 

 

  
Mark started to move around his flat as it came closer to 6 pm. He was walking around the house, fixing everything as he made sure that everything looked normal. He made sure that it looked like he was okay after the break up. (Jaemin laughed really hard at this because he couldn't understand the connection between their flat and Mark's feelings.)

Mark wasn't sure if he was ready to see Donghyuck. Yes, he was sure that he needed to see him so that he could end their relationship in his heart and mind in a nice way but Mark wasn't sure if he was ready to end it. After having a breakdown the day before, he was questioning his feelings even more.

When he heard a soft knock he rushed to the door. As soon as he stood right in front of it he stopped. His hand lingered around the handle, not ready to push it down and face him. Still, he know he had to do it because Donghyuck was on the other side of it and he hated waiting. He know that he couldn't make younger wait anymore so he opened the door with a little smile on his face.

"Hi." It's been more than five months since he has seen Donghyuck closely. For the last five months, he had watched him and -sometimes- adored him from a far but right now he was standing right in front of him.

He knew that right after their break up Donghyuck dyed his hair to dark brown because Mark liked his red hair too much but seeing him right in front of him made this action pretty useless because Mark liked his dark brown hair even more -but he couldn't say it aloud.  Other than that, he looked less chubby -his lovely cheeks were almost gone and Mark was not happy. His cheeks were cute. He seemed like he matured within five months.

"Hi, hyung." His voice was smooth as usual but it was different because he never heard Donghyuck speaking with a distance towards him.

After spending two minutes standing awkwardly, he welcomed younger inside and closed the door. The walk to Mark's room was surprisingly long and it was silent. Unlike how Donghyuck would clinge on Mark or made him piggy back himself until the room. It was so silent that Mark felt like he was going to show his room to a stranger. He wondered if everyone felt the same after a break up.

"So, I put them all in a box." Mark starts as they finally enter his room after a long (?) walk. Donghyuck nods as he sees the box. "I put Mr Berry, your albums and records, posters and all of the clothes that you left here or I took. Uhm, if there is anything missing you can just text me and I'll take a look around but I think that's all." He says smoothly because he had been practising saying these since morning. He was nervous and upset but he tried his best showing none of them.

Donghyuck nodded again but Mark was really desperate to hear his voice again so he stopped the younger who was about the carry the box and leave.

"Are you okay? I mean... Uhm... Are you doing well?" He asks in a hurry. Donghyuck looks at him shortly and for the first time after months their eyes meet.

Mark had been avoiding Donghyuck's eyes for so long because he was in love with his eyes. Donghyuck's eyes were like the deepest ocean or it was like he held galaxies in them. They were soft and lovely just like Donghyuck. Every time they enchanted Mark. Just like Donghyuck did.

"Yes," he says without breaking the eye contact. "You?"

"Yes." They are looking at each other as if they want to say more.

"Are you happy?" Mark asks. Donghyuck's happiness is really important to him. Even more important than his own.

"Yes."

Mark knew that he should have been happy with Donghyuck's answer but it hurt him even more. Because this moment was the end.

"I'm glad." He says.

Donghyuck takes the box, says goodbye to Jaemin who was watching TV, looks at Mark once again, they make eye contact.

"Are you happy?" Donghyuck asks in a shy way. He doesn't look into Mark's eyes.

"Eh," Mark says honestly. "I'm trying to get used to it."

Donghyuck looks into Mark's eyes but this time Mark isn't sure what to think.

Donghyuck doesn't say anything more than that.

Mark closes the door behind him and stares at the door.

Donghyuck looked so familiar and so different at the same time.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm thinking of writing a sequel or smt to this because i love them


End file.
